Daddy responds (with the wannabe professionals included).
Well, as far as communication goes, based on unrealistic projections, accusations and allegations, I’m not allowed to contact anyone directly – at least up to the point when everyone here has to realize what grave mistakes they’re making now.
They’ve also mentioned that this has already been communicated with you.
You can answer to the kids yourself, but only with completely honest answers focusing on the root cause of the family being broken apart.
Daddy loves these kids, and has done everything predominantly for them. Endured everything. Most difficult part to endure was being coerced out of their home.
Invalidated and dismissed by literally everyone involved in this matter. The blame, and repercussions all shifted on the father.
Tell them that in healthy relationships people don’t abandon anyone, and do not kick their parents on the streets and watch them suffer.
Even the abusers of all kinds and genders still need compassion, help, safety, and support. In this matter, a father was cut off from equal and lawful treatment.
As such, no father would dare to expose the children, and themselves to any further trauma. At the end of the day, they have never seen their father scream at them that their mother doesn’t love them, or that the mother is selfish and doesn’t care to play with them.
It’s not about what parents feel and think of each other at any moment, or the heated moments. That in itself was child abuse. Alienating their father like that, and then escalating it all the way to even being very close many times to have their father imprisoned under a rather false victim role story. That is child abuse. Physically assaulting the children’s father in front of kids is child abuse. Calling the police because the same father was blocked from leaving the house by that same assault, had to protect himself and ensure no one gets seriously hurt is also child abuse.
Kids had to witness all that, and have asked the questions themselves: why did the father twist and arm behind her back? The father was honest; Every normal person, especially trained in martial arts, definitely refuses and does not ever want to use the force on anyone, and we hate it when we have to do it – when the exits are blocked, and the only way out is to protect yourself and push through. Toddlers and small children understood, and their eyes don’t lie to them. They knew they were there, yelled at and they saw their mother attacking their father when he was usually most tired or already under pressure due to general circumstances, and a toxic relationship abuse dynamic forcing him over the edge, while he is trying to keep it together for the kids.
As a father of four children, the oldest one being almost an adult already. I saw him going through a much less intensive and not violent dynamic as a toddler between his parents. He was abused by manipulations, twisted truths by the mother’s side of the family. Since I have none on my side, none one was there to defend me in my absence. At the age of 13 years old, that child has come to ask the questions and seek the truth – Indre, you were there!
I told him, I was never a perfect father, but most of all I don’t wish to convince him into anything good or bad about me. I let him observe, ask questions and he got honest answers, like everyone else here so many times.
He returned home to his mother, and confronted her about the truth that he had seen. A year later, being a 14 year old teenager like all of us were, a rebellious age starts. In the heat of the argument, his mother slapped him.
As agreed, he called me to tell me about it. I can’t say I can act nice, and not raise my voice at any child abuser! Why would anyone treat them nicely in the first place? Hitting a child, that merely talks back and may even actually be right – that is a clear sign of very bad parenting that lacked the consistency in the boundaries, self respect, and obviously a child who was emotionally abused by being gaslit into fearing his own father based on lies.
All I had to prove to that child was my statement at court when I was getting divorced with his mother. At the court I made it clear that what the court heard from her side was not true, I could always prove and back my own words. However, for the sake of the peace for the child, and my own peace, I chose to end the relationship, and move on.
Doing the same with three kids is close to impossible, I have done what I’ve done. I thought I am doing what is not best, but at least temporary good for the kids – peace wherever they live.
I paid a huge price: my own personal safety, years of hard work, finances, energy, focus and dedication invested into our home, and relationship. What happened to us during Covid could have happened to anyone.
I’ve kept picking everything up myself, and taking care of the family, showing up and being there when it was the hardest.
Once I had reached a point of being a human who was going through an inhumane physical burnout, while at the same time, being psychologically abused, often even with force, having to suffer knowing how this is seen and impacts the kids, all the while no one even wanted to believe a single word I have or tried to tell them, the easiest thing to do was to get rid of me under the pretence that I’m the one crazy, and unstable, while mocking the whole system and professionals by never revealing the truth, and owning one self when it comes to realizing that the only victims here are the children.
That’s the explanation that will stick for life! Truth cannot be manipulated. It will not matter how many times, and how many people are now trying to rewrite my own life story as a whole. Thus making themselves rather complicit in any potential litigations along with any civil individual who has provided these people with false information, and deceived them, or mental health care experts.
People can hold their webs of lies, and the people believe them only as long as their capacity allows them to.
While someone who stands for, and speaks the truth, and is able to support it with multiple facts, and evidence doesn’t even need to be present or defend themselves at some point anymore.
True, innocent people do suffer from injustice.
But some are different, they have already broken all the cycles of abuse, and people abused them many times before. Some of us are actually strong enough to stand in the face of all odds stacked against them, and their story remains the same. They don’t change their behaviour or the narrative to fit in, and be liked, or to comply with the system proving itself to function in illegitimate manners.
The kids may be confused now, but the only way to keep them from the truth is by clearly playing this sort of scenario unfolding.
I must disappoint, I am neither suicidal, nor unaware of my own actions. I’m actually the one displaying health, and stability because I’m the one facing homelessness, horrible lies about me, attacks from all possible sides that actually happened and are well documented. Still standing here, for my own peace and for all the children who are victims of abuse. Putting my kids at such risks as I’ve seen before, like riding them on an unsecure flat bike rack, all three together, the smallest one right at the back. Responding to it with a smirk that even cops don’t say anything. Well, they clearly don’t care about important things, but as a father, I do.
Did I keep using that as a weaponised argument to emotionally react and be abusive about it? No! After months of that being pointed out, you all ignored it, so I went ahead and used my last money to buy them helmets myself.
You’re all really just too foolish to try and paint me as the fool. Enough is enough!
Go ahead, let Akila read this, that’s why I cannot be there for them. If I had seen better choices when I was still at home, the best one I had was hard to achieve with such a level of constant pressure coming from a person claiming to even feel love. Come on people, as far as I’m concerned here today – this is contrary to any child protection and safety regardless of how happy kids are today. They never needed any of this trauma, and seeing their father in pain either. But the people who could not work on themselves, be honest, and do the right thing continue to put kids and everyone else in this situation to save their own face.
I am sorry I could not control the amount of overwhelming emotions while actually being helpless, and pushed even more over the edge by organizations whose profession and job is to serve and protect all people.
I’m sorry I tried to simply do what I thought I could at my best knowledge and abilities at that time. Today I know that disrespect, lack of consistency, and attacking anyone’s character are actually major red flags and not just some village people with bad habits, and truly lack of perspective and common sense.
Last but not least, it hurts like hell, but thanks for being the catalyst of my new strength rising with each attempt to further bring me down, and play games with me and the kids.
Today this little game is over.
And now we all dance! Guess who is the musical director this time. Not me alone, truth, and finally also support with me – a credible witness who saw you all swear and promise to treat me fairly.
As of today, this situation itself demands one and only one thing: the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
In the name of these children, law, justice, peace and even the forces behind the creation of everything, I cannot allow anything else. None of you should have allowed it, and just because I allowed that in the past, it doesn’t mean it has to stay the same.
The only thing I really don’t want at all, is dragging anyone either as a group or individually through years of courts, mud, and trouble just because you refused to hear me right the first time.
This is not a kindergarten, and I am not forgiving any further misinterpretations of my own testimonies, written statements, or abusing my weakness under duress and pressure against me.
I don’t need an attorney anymore. This here is clear, concise enough. Written by heart, intelligence, and my own knowledge about reality and legal matters.
There is not a single court in any democratic and European country that would allow anyone’s own words expressed in emotional stress, and under pressure to be used in court as evidence against them.
Thank you for showing me all your real approach, courage to do the right thing even when it is difficult. And most of all, thanks for showing me that I must stand up because it’s bigger than my own kids.
This is for all the kids, and all the parents being driven through such horrible injustice while abusers themselves are worshipped and protected.
Thank you for picking on someone who is stronger than all of you together. I’m not going anywhere, and trying to get rid of me in any way is only making sure this gets more exposed, higher up in the chain and the public awareness raised to a point of creating an actual civil and political pressure. Protect your jobs, and your faces by actually sinking your own teeth into accountability. It’s a hard bite, but it’s juicy and sweet inside.
Try it. Only a person with integrity can tell you, because we know it by doing it.
Have a lovely day folks!
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